As I finish a music project for a local church and print off a book draft, I have to laugh at how ornery my muses are. At first, I typed that they were uncooperative and realized that wasn’t exactly correct. I’m not having a creative block. If anything, they are hounding me about so many things I can’t get it all done fast enough. My body just doesn’t do fast anymore even if my mind does.
You might ask why I am calling the muses ornery or uncooperative if my creative life is thriving. I state this because about a year ago I wrote to let everyone know that I’m working on a new book about dogs. At the time, I was bold and said I hoped to have it out in 2019. It is now June and the draft of the book I’m working on is about prayer, not dogs. How in the heck did that happen? For years I’ve wanted to create a prayer book but couldn’t quite find the right format. Why, when I wanted to focus on a book about dogs, did it suddenly show itself now?
Who knows really? The creative process is what it is. One thing that comes to mind this morning is something I realize that I must also admit. The easy thing to admit is that I’ve always loved dogs best and always say I’m a dog person. The harder thing to admit is that this doesn’t mean I’ve always done the best thing for my dogs. It wasn’t because of desire to do right, but I had a lot to learn as a young dog owner. My current dog, Birdie, would say I still have a lot to learn, but she’s a bossy little thing. She is fifteen pounds of love, but also fifteen pounds of bossy!
Also, writing the book about the dogs has been harder than I thought it would be. Not only because I will be required to confess to the error of my ways but also because of how dogs are always connected with places and other loved ones. Memories of dogs open up memories of life with others and when those others have been lost and the dog has been lost too, well, sometimes I get tired of writing about loss.
The music project I planned on doing this year (a CD of hymns) has morphed so many times into other recording projects that I’ve lost count. The good thing is that it’s empowered me to encourage others. The difficult thing is that I need to practice my guitar more often…even when Birdie wants to play dragon-pull.
This day I will be facilitating discussion on a book at church. Writing books means one must also read books. Reading books takes away the time for writing books. Also, some books I’ve read lately have been extremely well-written or exquisitely poetic and my tyrant brain says why bother?
When I get discouraged the beauty in life is how the muses or the universe, or G-d, send messages to let one know to keep on going. Creativity has been my life’s work. In that creativity there has been a theme of love. As long as I’m creating words of love, songs of love, paintings of love or the result of love, the world is a better place. Here is a short video of what I’m trying to say.
The corrections are that I was not 7 or 8, but junior high age and the version of the song playing was sung by Dionne Warwick most likely.
Please visit Abigail Rose Clark also has a wonderful post about love and the importance of loving yourself and working for your own well being called “Beyond All Binaries” where she asks these good questions:
Where do we think we need to be good to be loved?
Where do we think we need to be right to be worthy?
Where do we still buy into the belief of right/wrong, good/bad, worthy/unworthy?
And how do those beliefs influence our relationships?
- Dark Rabbit Holes
- In a Perfect World by Missouri Vaun (used with permission)